I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
