I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
