i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
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