Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I just threw up on my dentist
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Randomize
