It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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