Umm I'm too high to move.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Randomize
