dude i'm inner monologue high
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
