Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
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