i already hear my dad disowning me
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
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