I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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