we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize