Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Randomize
