Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
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