I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Randomize
