then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
