she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
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