I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
