He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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