we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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