Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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