He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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