i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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