Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
