am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Randomize
