I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
