Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Randomize
