i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Randomize
