What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
