This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
