Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
