You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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