Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Randomize
