he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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