At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
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