Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
It was confusing and full of hummus
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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