I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
