Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
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