Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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