i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
Randomize
