lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize
