Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
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