is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Randomize
