operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Randomize
