I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
