I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Randomize
