you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Randomize
