East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
