Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
