im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Randomize