drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
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