I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize
