I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
