So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
There's always time for handjobs
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
