just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
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