hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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