I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
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