i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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