I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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