so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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