if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Randomize
